I Can’t Call It Baby Weight Anymore

I had my daughter in 2012 and dropped all of the pregnancy weight pretty fast thanks to breastfeeding.  It was effortless and the weight just melted off of my body.  Fast forward FOUR years and I have surpassed my pregnancy weight and I’m not pregnant all thanks to: not moving, eating late at night, not watching what I ate and just plain not caring.

I’m no stranger to weight loss either.  A bout a year and a half ago I got into a weight loss bet with some women on the internet and even posted about it here.  But a week into it everyone stopped participating including me.  What I learned is that money does not motivate me and that I get discouraged fast.

I’ve kidded myself long enough.  I’ve made enough excuses (and I’ve got some good one’s) for far too long! I’ve tearfully watched the scale creep up and up and up for 4 years now only to excuse the numbers away out of existence.  I talk about it all the time with my husband and I have even talked about it with my good girlfriends and still not taken action.  I’ve gained OVER 30 pounds in 4 years, but the time has come!

First off a list of my infamous excuses and my attempt at some counter-excuses:

  1. I have No time – well I really don’t but if so many other bloggers can get up at 4:30 in the morning than by golly so can I!
  2. I have nothing to wear- this is actually true.  I don’t even have a sports bra or sneakers to work out with so it is going to be expensive to get started, but we are just going to have to put some clothing expenses in the budget.
  3. I need music- another thing I am lacking is work out music or an I pod.  I used to have a Nano, but that thing was a piece of crap and quit working long ago.  I think I can work out for a little while with out one, but eventually it is going to have to happen.  Maybe I will buy a used I pod or something.  Suggestions are welcome.
  4. I have no place to work out- I can not do some exercise videos at my house especially when it is going to be like 5 AM in the morning; I live in an old creaky house and I don’t want to wake everybody.  Also, I don’t have the discipline to work out at home to videos.  I need a place that can motivate me; it doesn’t have to be the fanciest place on the planet, but I need something that is going to motivate me to get up at 4:30 AM and go work out.  It must also be in a safe neighborhood again, I will be going under a cloak of darkness.  I kind of want an all female gym as well.  I also want something that has classes because I do well in that sort of environment. It isn’t going to be cheap that is for sure another thing that we will have to add to the budget.
  5. I don’t know how to work out- Can someone tell me what the hell a Burpee is, please?  I haven’t a clue in this department.  Form has never been my thing and I know that if you don’t have proper form you might as well have not worked out. So I need some help in this department…enter classes with instructors.
  6. I have no idea how to eat right- Not really true, since I read a lot of blogs on eating right and living a healthy lifestyle.  I will admit I have no portion control anymore and that is my problem.  And the first step in any recovery is admittance, right?  Baby steps?
  7. I have no desire to run- this is very true.  I attempted to run recently and it was pathetic.  I’m getting older and need to take better care of myself for me and my family.  But I have never liked to run.  I need to find classes like Body Pump and things I like to do. 
  8. I’ll start tomorrow or after _______<–insert holiday or special occasion.  I don’t think I am the only one here who uses this gem.  It is always so big even that allows me to justify not eating well and not exercising.  The big one right now is Mardi Gras, I mean they don’t call it Fat Tuesday for nothing right?  And I did not move back to Louisiana not to eat like 7 King Cakes this season right?  No, I seriously have had 7 cakes since Carnival Season began.  They were delicious!   All of them!

I have more excuses, but these are the Krispy dela Kreme  of the dilemmas!

Then there are the clothes that  I  “can still wear” and the clothes I “used to wear”.  In my head, I can still wear that backless red shirt with the green butterflies on it so I won’t throw it away, but in reality I can’t even pull it over my fat roll, let alone let my back hang out. So why am I hanging on to it?Instead of wearing the red backless shirt, I put on the biggest frumpiest black flowiest shirt I have (and even that is getting snug on me now).

And don’t even get me started on the 3 pairs of pants I can still  wear. I am now regimented to 3 pairs of pants and I am praying no one has noticed.   Also, my pants no longer sit at my waist anymore, they roll down in the front even if I wear a belt.

I thought about posting my starting weight and all of my measurements to really hold myself accountable, maybe when I’m done. I am just to ashamed of where I’m at and how I have gotten here.  In my head I am still skinny.  I think of myself as a young thin girl and then I pass a mirror and I’m like “Who is that? And How did she get in my house?”  Seriously, I am in shock that this has happened to me.

So I start my weight loss journey today with nothing except sheer will to start a new chapter in my life.  To put into practice all of these healthy living habits I have learned by finally eating right, not eating after eight o’clock and to cut back on carbs that I so over indulge in. To begin as soon as financially  possible working out at a gym.  To buy some cute work-out clothes that can help motivate me.  To use MyFitnessPal to track my calories and exercise each day, though I admit this will be extremely difficult for me to keep up because I typically run from meal to meal without even realizing I just put food in my mouth let alone the calories I just dumped into my body.

Above all, I am calling today the line in the sand and I refuse to not be motivated any longer. Starting today I am going to move my body, wake up early, watch and track what I eat and take a few baby steps forward in my journey because I just can’t call it baby weight anymore, I just can’t.

 

God Works In Mysterious Ways

You would not believe how much life can change in 7 months!!!  I ended up going back to work a few days after I posted my last post and pretty much hated my job; It was very stressful, demanding and the pay was crap!

In my work life I was miserable, but it was a good thing for my daughter because we found a great Montessori school for her in Austin and she loved being there.  It was good for me too, but like I said the job was crap.  I went back to work because money was so tight and it was amazing that I went back to work when I did because a week after I went to back to work we found out our house had termites.  My entire first paycheck went to taking care of those terrible beast.

My second paycheck went towards another life event: my husbands car broke down, well, it died.  It was overdue for a lot of maintenance and it finally went kaputt!  We attempted for him to ride the bus for a week or so, but that was ludicrous because it took him almost 2 hours to get to work and 2 hours to get home.  Our family quality time was basically in the toilet.  So we broke down and bought a used car for my husband.

Even though the money I made did not go towards advancing our tough economic situation, at least we did not go further into the ditch.  So there you go.

I wasn’t happy, but I stayed at my job, hoping for an opportunity to come my way.   And then one did.

I wont go into all the details, but an opportunity to move back to Louisiana presented itself to me in the form of a job opportunity. Something we had prayed or for years, to move back to Bayou Country, just fell into my lap, just like that.

After carefully discussing it with my husband, we decided to jump at the chance.  We threw some caution to the wind and hoped and prayed a lot, and I got the job!

I had to move first because my job was effective immediately and I had to geaux.  On October 14th, 2016 I moved back solo to Louisiana.  I left my husband and daughter behind to figure the logistics out, one of the most painful things I have ever had to do.

While I moved in with a good friend of mine in Lafayette, he stayed behind in Austin to sell the house, pack the house and quit his job.  A monumental task to face all by himself.

God really was on our side though.   I would go back to visit every other weekend and we got a really good realtor.  Our  house sold without ever putting it on the market.  First offer!  A little under two months after I moved to Louisiana my husband and daughter moved here as well and we have been together ever since.

We are renting a house now, but are looking to buy maybe in a year or so.  My job is temporary and does have an end date; however, I feel God led us here and he has been helping us every step of the way.